How could you miss someone as dumb as this? - Chapter IV

"Home, is where I want to be, but I guess I'm already there..."
Those were the sweet words thumping in Rebecca's mind as she was walking and crying around this neighbourhood she didn't know at all but which felt so familiar.
The red brick Victorian architecture reminded her of her own home which she had left a while ago, and the friendly faces looked like those of people who she felt she could get along with, just like her own neighbours. As she was walking the sky started darkening and a cold breeze caressed her skin. Soon enough it would rain so much she would feel damper than a swamp. As she realised this she headed to the nearest bus station where she had left her travel bag in a locker. She took her key out and took her bag from which she retrieved her coat and she stayed in the locker room for a bit, sitting. She thought that she was lucky she was in such a lovely neighbourhood because she'd seen others where it would have been impossible for her to just sit and warm up her body for a bit. Here though, there was a radiator and even a few newspapers and magazines, either left there purposely or perhapsthey had just been forgotten.
Whichever of the two it was, it kept her busy for a bit. First she read the Economist out of boredom, but also because she had seen an interesting caricature when flicking though the pages. It was a depiction of Bush and his so called "lethargy". Rebecca was not big fan of Bush so it made her smirk a little and cheered her up. She then saw a "Seventeen" which she turned to sort of out of despair. She'd never really gotten into those girly magazines but like with many ridiculous things their mediocrity and repetitiveness tended to amuse her, which was just what she needed: a slight feeling of superiority and control. A self-confidence boost.
She read the pages with open condescendence which was shown with the eyebrow that stayed raised throughout her reading (which, unlike the Economist was perhaps 20 minutes long and not 1hour). Well, she had this attitude until she came face to face with an article about binge drinking and stories of girls who had gotten abused at parties. When she saw this one started to cry silently until she was interrupted.
At some point, a group of girls had passed her without her really noticing, but now they had gotten inside the waiting room. The girls were all wearing some sort of pink and grey jogging suits and had loop earrings, pink gloss and a ponytail. Also, these girls had a smirk on their faces just like Rebecca had had one before, but this didn't look like it was for the same reason. This was about two hours after Rebecca had ran away from the café, but she hadn't gone very far from it in fact. Despite that, she was now in a totally different world than the one she was still imagining when at Jamie's.
"Oi, what you doin' herre?" was what started it all.
Rebecca - despite knowing she was alone - looked around her as if to make sure it was her that the girl was speaking to. The girl stepped forward and repeated, in a scarier tone:
"What you fuckin' doin' herre?"
And Rebecca finally answered "Oh, erm, well I'm...warming myself up. It's a bit cold outside. Sorry I've spread my stuff all around me like that, I was alone, but you can sit if you want to."
After this short speech, which was actually a soliloquy as her "interlocutor" hadn't listen to a word of what Rebecca had just said, the girl just looked back at her half dozen of friends and laughed uncontrollably.
“Roight, little miss posh came to tell me I can sit in me own fecking spot! Roight. You bitch, we’ll take care of ye, scum.”
Rebecca then realised things were taking a bad turn and it worsened as another girl came forward only for her to realise it was one of the girls she’d met earlier in the café and had been disrespectful to. It was the blonde girl.

“Ooooooooh, but I know this girl, girls! She’s Smith’s new girlfriend” when she said that all the others just chewed their gum and sneered. Rebecca felt like she had just trespassed.
“Wait, no, I’m not his girl—”
“Ooh right” said the chief of the gang
“How far have ye gone yet? We don’t really like Smith: he’s fucked all of us, quite literally. Even those of us who didn’t feckin want em. Is he any good?”
“Listen, I don’t know him! I really don’t, I can’t, I mean, I’m not his-” But once again Rebecca was struggling in vain...
“She’s lying! I saw them at the café today! They were like...touching each other and stuff, it was gross. They stayed there for ages. The bitch dissed me when he introduced her.”
Rebecca tried to counter this claim but was stopped, again.
“Shat ap, ye slut. We’re gonna give ye wat ye deserve. That guy’s a bastard, you should know that by now.”
“And you know what Gemma? She’s coming to school next year, hahaha.”
“Feckin hell. I thought we had enough scum. What’s her name?”
“Rebecca” answered the blond girl “Oh wait, it’s written on her bag there... Rebecca Tate”
“Well, Rebecca Tate, welcome to hell...”
Before she could even justify herself and explain to them she was on their side the girls approached Rebecca menacingly. They didn’t have knives, but sometimes a girl’s nails and words can be as sharp.
The girls merrily slapped her as she started to cry and one of them started pulling her hair. She tried defending herself but felt like it was all happening all over again. She did manage to throw a few punches in the air but she was just too weak. She started screaming as loud as she could and miraculously she was noticed. Just as this was happening, Jamie, sitting in his friend’s car passed casually though still confused by the earlier event. He was truly puzzled so he was distracted and occupied himself by observing his surroundings from his window as he saw a crowd of girls, one who he thought he could recognise quite well.
“STOP THE CAR!” he screamed at his friend Alex
“Why the fuck mate? If we stop we’ll gonna be late”
“STOP THE FUCKING CAR!” he repeated and his friend was compelled to pull over.
“Mate, the game’s in fifteen minutes.”
“I don’t care, go, I’ll call you later”
His friend didn’t even hesitate. You don’t get to see a France – England rugby match live that often. At least he could call that blonde girl he fancied (Jenny) now to go watch the match...
Jamie, who usually had remarkable manners didn’t even bother with waving bye at that point. He ran for a few meters and rushed inside the transparent room.
“BECCA!” was all he needed to say to break up the riot. As soon as he did, the gang of girls just froze.
“Oh, Jamie, hey babe.” Said Jenny, the ex.
"Don’t touch me" said Jamie.
“And get your fucking hands off her too.” he said as the girls got rid of their clutch. “Rebecca, come here...”

Rebecca, quite shocked by the fact her saviour was the one she thought was also the cause of her sadness got up in less than a second. She picked up her bag and walked towards him with her swollen red eyes and now messy dark hair. Jamie made her go behind him and told her to wait for him outside, which she - surprisingly - did. He then closed the door from which he had gotten in and told the group of girls
“Never get anywhere near her again, did you hear me? You know what I’m capable of. I’m Smith, now fuck off.” He didn’t leave them the time to a react, instead he rushed outside knowing Rebecca was following him. He was too angry to look at her or talk to her. She must have sensed it despite his entrancing and charming scent because she didn’t try to either. Who to trust? Perhaps, who knows, this neighbourhood wasn’t that friendly... who knew? She certainly didn’t.

Clumsily, she types the words that ache her inner self, not the ones she exposes on the surface... no happiness, no joy, no endless laughs - gloom.

This is the sequel to that story I wrote back in june and before that...

Here, if you don't remember it: Chapter II

Can I advise something? If this isn't too long a read (or if it is put it on repeat, or something...) please play this music as background... :

Glasgow Love Theme

They walked down the street in which Jamie had spent all his childhood. You could see the frozen ground crack under their footsteps and there were kids playing in the neighbourhood. It was a quiet area of the city where flowers could bloom effortlessly because the environing vibes were positive. Though Jamie had never really noticed it, the whole neighbourhood really appreciated him. They had seen him being born and bred in that good old street and were used to his charming, charismatic face. He was a good guy too, Mrs. Johnston, a 72 year old lady who lived by herself couldn't even count - and not only because she had problems with her memory - the number of times he had proposed to help her with her vegetables and fruits or with the aforementioned beautiful flowers which also happened to bloom endlessly in her garden despite the fact she never took care of it. Whilst the elders appreciated him, the younger dwellers of High Street looked up to him. He regularly babysitted the kids of his closest neighbours, the Jacksons, and sometimes he even gave them maths lessons. He might have been the perfect young man if it wasn't for the reprehensible - or anyway, for these young girl's fathers - relationships he had had with some young ladies of his neighbourhood. A large portion of them went to the same school as him and he had made the stupid mistake to get involved with a few...at the same time. This had caused envy from the young males and jealousy amongst the girls.

Unfortunately, as he entered the corner café, one of these girls in question was there and oh, she was in company of her friend - also someone he had gotten involved with in the past but hopefully they didn't know it...yet. In which case they now would

Most young men's reaction would have been to look for the furthest table and drag Rebecca there, but Jamie's thoughtfulness made him go say hello to them instead.

"Hey, girls! How are you doing? Here, let me introduce you lot to someone..." he said

"Rebecca, this is Jenny and this is Amy." he said as he showed the blonde girl then the redhead. "We go to the same school" Rebecca smiled, embarrassed, and totally oblivious to the situation. However, she could sense the ambient jealousy emanating from the two girls.

"Oh, hey Becca" said one of them.

"Hey, yeah, I prefer Becca actually, sorry Jamie" said Rebecca with a large and genuine smile on her face. However, she was getting tired of this whole situation and didn't want to lose any more time. She had tried to make a decision as she was going to Jamie's house in the first place, but this had made her choose in 5 secondes what she hadn't managed to choose during a 3 hours bus journey paid with her savings. And yes, she had broken that piggy bank.

Once this decision was made, Rebecca managed to excuse herself by saying :

"Anyway, Jamie and me are off, we'll see you in school, right." and then pulled Jamie to a table far from the two magpies who were now giving her the evil glare - not that she cared, she had no time for bitching.

"Wow" said Jamie, "Thank you so much for pulling me out of this. You saved my life, but anyway, what's this about seeing them in school, do you live here? I've never seen you before..."

Jamie's questions were natural and honest, but Rebecca ignored them and used one of the best arguments that a woman can use with men (not this one... the other one).

"So, Jamie, what's their best thing here? How about those cupcakes you mentioned earlier? Any good?" Jamie started to talk and said "Oh, but I thought you didn't like having te-" but Rebecca cut him halfway through his speech.

"Yeaaaah... fine, I think I'll have cinnamon tea and a cupcake. No, two. No comment, I'm off my diet today."

At the mention of the word "diet" Jamie chuckled. Not because Rebecca was a little chubby, no, but because he had realised that he didn't like the Kate Moss' and other Agyness Deyn's. No, he was more of a Beyoncés and Marilyn Monroes man. Anyway, what had really amused him was the obviously ironic tone in Rebecca's tone which he completely agreed with.

Though he himself had a perfectly fit body with just enough of everything where it's necessary, he hated holding girls which felt like they would break any second, girls that felt like little girls. Rebecca might not had known it yet, but she was his type really, and he also would find it out soon, but too late...

"So, Becca... get started, tell me more about yourself then... how did you end up here?"

Unfortunately, Becca was still looking at her Menu, or pretending to, and this had completely struck her at the unexpected instant, she didn't know what to say.

"Well...I lived in er... Swansea for 5 years, then 2 in Salisbury, 4 in Brighton and then 5 more years in Surrey. Then, not too long ago, my mum was offered a job here, so here I am..."

As she finished her sentence the barmaid came to take their orders. The service was really quick so their teas and cupcakes were on their table two minutes after having ordered them and between the order and the supply there had been some sort of survey being asked. How many times have you been here and other common survey questions came up, which was just fine for Rebecca, maybe it'll get him his interrogatory off his mind... But she was wrong.

"And, if I may ask, how are you liking it so far?" once again, she didn't know what to say.

She didn't come from Surrey, and it was the first time in her life she had ever been to London. Before her eighteenth birthday, which was today, she had never really ever done anything she really wanted, but today was her time to shine and to discover what she had wanted to know for so long. Was it really him?

"Well, it's lovely of course. It's the metropole, isn't it... even though Surrey is almost London, this is bigger than anywhere I've ever lived"

"Missing the other places yet, your best friends maybe?" asked Jamie curiously. Unfortunately, at the mention of her friends her heart throbbed fastly and ached.

"Well, I'll get over it right? I'm sure you'll help me, even though I've already made myself two enemies" she said, smiling. He smiled back and slurped his drink.

They stayed there for about two hours talking about matters and others, about their tastes, what they had in common and their differences. Jamie told her about his love for Blues and Jazz and how he thinks it reflects his own feelings sometimes, and she told him about how she can get emotional by listening to Beethoven. As the minutes passed she realised she started liking him more and more. At the moment that she noticed this she just stood up, without a warning.

"Listen, Jamie, thank you, really, I'm very very glad to have met you but I should... really... just, go." said Rebecca, feeling nauseous "Here... I'll give you 5£, you can keep the change. Really, it was nice meeting you but I'd better go"

"Wait, why, no!" was all Jamie could utter amidst all this confusion

"Won't you at least give me your number?" he asked in a desperate tone

"Give me yours" she said as she took her mobile out, even though she knew she probably shouldn't have. As he gave her his digits she said "Thank you, really. I'll... Goodbye" she then kissed his cheek in a hurry, leaving a red mark on it, waved, and left rushing. As she walked she could smell his Axe Africa on her skin. It was ingrained in there now, for a good while.

He had also stood up in the process and was just standing there watching her run away. The two magpies were laughing and sneering behind him and all he could think of was Rebecca Tate. Yes, for the following year of his life, all he would think of was Rebecca Tate.

To be continued....

I'm desperate. Which colour do I set as background or whatever it's called? How does this works? How do *I* work? Confused.

So, what's the big idea? I'm struggling to understand how to choose an image to use as mosaic to have a decent blog, plus it's setting its own width without my consent which is slightly annoying me, but nevermind the pinprick, 'cus there are bigger ones. Pricks, that is.

Firstly, university. Ah. Yes... it might sound like I've got everything under control, but that's far from reality.

The more days pass, the more gullible I feel. "Do you really think this will work out, you idiot?!" Is what I have in mind these days. Especially when you see stuff like "1000 apply worldwide, but only 25 places are available" which basically means -from my very thin knowledge of maths- that I have 1/40th of a chance to get in.

Then again, knowing how shit I am at Maths and how we've only just started Probabilities last week, I might well be wrong, right? Whatever. The chances are thin is what you must keep in mind. The worst part is when you read about these people who've been PUBLISHED or have done summer courses and such things. Seriously, the only thing I've had published are the articles I write myself on my blogs. And I publish them by pushing a button that says "PUBLISH" - myself. And that's far from being relevant, because when I do write it's about irrelevant stuff.

E.g.: This article.

Also, to secure a place, I need to send a copy of a literary work I have written. 10 pages minimum, 16 maximum, 2 pages long commentary on it.

Alright, then. Dead easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy! No, but seriously. The thing I've posted over here might be interesting, but it isn't too academic. I'll try and keep it up though, just for the sake of learning how to write properly; I'm that selfish and self-centred.

Speaking of fish, am I the only one noticing the sea-based theme of them monkey boys on their new album? Oh, really?

"Yours is the only ocean...that I want to swing from"

Crying Lightning video (please don't mention the hair again)

Er... I've ran out of arguments but I had a few more up there (up there being in my head, if anything)

Other sea-related fact; my room looks like it has suffered a Tsunami. And it sort of has, in the past few month. I'm a relatively lucky survivor... I have a big window and can waste my time away watching bees, and trees*, and wishing of empty seas. Ok no, it's not here I need to get all poetic... point is, my room is messier than my head, and that's no pretty sight. If this were a cartoon - my life that is, but it's more like a circus than a cartoon if anything - , I'd have steam coming out from my ears quite often. Just picture that, steamy Marianne. Fact I'll bring that idea to life in a sec.

And further prick; Entertainment. Can I have a bit of it please? Preferably something positive... the only Entertainment I seem to be getting now is from people who propose stuff when really they don't want to do them. If you don't want to do not say FROM YOUR OWN WILL that you will. The easiest way would be to ignore someone utterly. Which you're kind of doing, but sort of not. Here, just screen me and it'll be sorted. Like, erase me, block me, insult me, get it over with. Seriously, I'd rather have you act like a dickwad so that I can comfort myself saying "pff, he was a dick anyway, his loss" than "oh, but maybe he has an excuse". Your excuse is you're socially and emotionally retarded, that's it. But being a dick from scratch would have made it easier. Mind you, I find you a mind-wrecking bastardly fury titcaked dickwad anyway now, so it's all good.

Errr, anyway. I've managed to make a 1000 lines article out of 2 months of nothingness. I guess that's what writing is about. Seriously, what was Rabelais' point with Gargantua? 54 chapters from womb to tomb? I'll have an autobiographic go at that. Once it's honed, I'll send it to the unis and try to make them publish me, and will win the Nobel Prize *cough, yeah right*

Anyway, I should probably buzz off, in case I doze off, which is what's happening at the moment. You know that moment when you're reading a book in class or something, and you enter a semi-lethargic state, and feel your heart slow down, and your breath very closely, and get all dizzy and start squinting and struggling as you try to keep up with the page/paragraph/line/word? You know when the teacher asks you to take over the reading right this second? This is what's happening. And I know you're so lovely you wouldn't want to spoil this access to pure Nirvana for me. So ZzZ I go. This is just the beginning dears. It is. And the end, has no end.

<3

In return to you allowing me to sleep, I'll spoil you with a few amazing live performances I've been enjoying to bits these days. iPod is overworked, methinks. This should make up for those of you who didn't attend Pukkelpop... It was trick or treat last week! So here are the visual kudos.

And a last one I had forgotten due to my trance at PeePee. PLEASE LISTEN... it's a nice surprise.

*that's bullshit, bees are hibernating now - right?

PS: any annoyance for me to acknowledge?

Oops, I did it again.

Long time no write.

But if there's one thing I've found out in 2009 it's that Thom Yorke is THE CURE. Not the band, no, but a sonic medication. If you're down, he'll get it up. Er, you, I meant, not it... Or actually, if you're down, just have a go at No Surprises, or how to make a depressing song sound jovial.

Otherwise, if you just want to hear something hazy, and not really know what he means, just have a go at his The Eraser album - masterpiece. My favourites (according the iTunes, anyway) are Atoms for Peace, Black Swan, and the Eraser.

Of course, I'm aware this isn't new, in fact it's far from being new, but now being the beginning of Autumn, I guess some of us are feeling quite sad or depressed, so here. Just like Spring means the flourishing of flowers and couples, Autumn and Winter mean death. Sad, but true. Who the fuck ever tells you "Oh, I"m so looking forward to Winter, and breaking my ankle sliding on the frozen floor on my way to school, and not being able to go back home" (true, autobiographic story). This also means having to help your niece take her tongue off frozen poles and so on, and so forth. So no, I'm not really looking forward to the next few months.

Anyway, some (or maybe not) might be wondering what I've been up to since my last blog, well... I wanted to do a proper full Pukkelpop review, but since two months have passed now, I'm feeling this sort of cantbearsed-ness, thus won't. If you really want to know, you'll find a way to find out... Right?

Anyway, since I've nothing relevant to say, I'll just paste a few songs I've been into these days.

#1: The Giantess - Bombay Bicycle Club

#2: 11th Dimension - Julian Casanblancas

#3: Deadbeat Summer - Neon Indian

#4: Relentless Fours - Grammatics

#5: The Lovers - Arctic Monkeys

Straight away, you'll realise all these songs don't have any connections whatsoever, but still, they're brilliant, methinks. Just ignore the silly fanvids for the last two, though.

But yes, if you've any suggestion, go ahead! Novelty is good...

There's also this mysterious -though good nevertheless - song I've heard yesterday for the first time but have had for a few years, strangely... Gissa listen!

Blackjack Illywhack

Anyway, as you should, but mightn't know... I'm no big fan of Beyoncé, but this makes me change my mind on the coolness of her zikmu.

So, check list.

1. Seeing Arctic Monkeys live
2. Seeing Simian Mobile Disco live
3. Seeing Kraftwerk live
4. Have a blast at Pukkelpop
5. Have an amazing summer
6. Meeting Arctic Monkeys

I shall shortly write something appropriate to fill the long 2 months gap I've created. I will, I must.
'Til then...

Sunday (lonely) night blathering.

So. Back here again. July. the 5th, right? How would I know, I don't even know what time it is anymore anyway, so yeah. All I know is it's passing slowly and painfully, a bit like swallowing a pill - which I've never been able to do without strangling myself anyway.
I've been thinking quite a bit with all that free time and God (and someone else, almost equal to Him) knows that's a bad bad bad idea, never let my mind wander for more than a second...
Though yeah, things are going well overall, I think? In surface they are anyway, and that's good enough for me, well better than last week (as you should know). Whatever. I've got music as company, and my sanity (hahahahaha!) and also a bit of madness, it's all paradoxical in Wonderland... Yes, I'm listening to a song inspired by A.I.W, and I really feel the urge to rush to Waterstone's to get myself Through the Looking-Glass as well as a few other hundred books ("Like what"? you're wondering, well first of all as a tribute to someone "Less Than Zero" off someone, and as a treat to myself one or two Orwells and Kafka's and probably some Camus, if they're as straight-forward as L'Étranger, so that I don't damage my yet oh-so weak encephalon) and shut my ears for a week, not shower, drink or eat and read until my pupils explode, if only it wasn't for spending all my money on clothes. Cute. Now, if you're feeling awkward it's but your on fault as this article IS called "Sunday (lonely) night blathering" AFTER ALL. And I bloody need it. So much for self-consciousness, thanks for making me feel like a retard, BB. I'm deadly happy for you though, but yeah, how to kill someone's ego in one second. Anyway, we're running late (almost the 6th of July!! I think...?) so I'll just end this here with my wants and haves and recommendations and all that crap (that no one reads anyway, but I don't care, getting it off my chest is a greater reward).

#1: Erol Alkan's Saturday 4th Mix - Brilliant. Go check it out now though, cus I'm not sure how long it'll stay there, and I'm surprised I can even listen to it not being in the UK.
#2: WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO????!!!!
#3: Hahahahahahahahaha!
#4: This was cool.
#5: But not as cool as my NEW JEANS, yes I D.A.R.E.d


Night now,
xxx



In love with this, go out and... love me...



PRAISE BE!
my love of the summer <3

Hello, pancake.

KRAFTWERK - COMPUTERLIEBE / COMPUTERLOVE

Frustration? Bad luck? Tears? Discontentment? Been there, done that.
Though been there a bit too much if you want my opinion (though I'm sure you don't).
Yes, it gives strength in life and makes you independent and all that crap, but I could have done without it, to be honest ^^

Anyway, how to get through it? "Relativise", and I don't mean Albert Einstein here, I mean rather thinking outside of your box. You're in a shit situation, think about all the other people in a shit situation, and far worse than yours and make a list of all the advantages you have (e.g: financially, mentally, physically...) and in that way to me anyone can be happy, but that's only due to the fact we all have different expectations really. So yeah, it's nothing too objective, but it helps you get through. Well it helps me anyway, and that's all I need...

As for the rest I do my best. I try to care about others and be there for them, as much as I physically/mentally can - I'm not always successful, I know.
Anyway, due to the several events this week I've come to the conclusion that I should be more detached and self-centred. Sounds quite gloomy doesn't it? But it'd probably work, being a New Romantic doesn't seem that appealing to me anymore. And prince charming is not a sword fighter on his horse killing a villain to free you, prince charming is a guy taking some pills and drinking absinthe to have the guts to text you the morning after (yes, that's the new way to fight against our inner demons). *sigh* What can I say? I know the future is bright, but I can't see the light. The tunnel is really long, and it seems like I've run out of fuel and am not going on anymore... The only things I can really cling to I seem to be losing grip of, it's insane. Nothing's tangible, nothing's real, and if this is a dream the awakening doesn't seem to be an option...
Don't worry, I'm nothing close to depressed, just... facing life's nature, finally... took its time, and it's taking its toll too. And it feels terrible to sit and stare at the cracking ceiling like a captain abandoning its boat, and being impotent, powerless... All those words of encouragment that I took for granted are now fickle, forlorn, derelict... somewhere far and lost in my mind, like a treasure, but I've no map. And even if I had the map I don't have the key. The key is love. Be my goldsmith and give me access to that gift that happiness is. Don't let the chest sink darker into the gloomy, cold, uncovered ocean that my heart is... Warm it up.

I have no clue what that was. Inspiration I guess. Now about whether or not it makes sense you tell me... all I know is I'm using my telescope and trying to see as far as possible, in the distance... and it should be just there, we're almost ashore, oh dear promised land, oh dear love of mine...


Now get out of my head and off my mind people and go listen to a bit of Dodos to soothe you, Le Corps Mince de Françoise to party (N.B.: BIG UP to LOTP, Metronomy ... (aka, Myetronomïyé), Smiths, Talking Heads, etc...), and watch Patrick Wolf's amazinggggggggg new video (despite the Hunting for Witches soundalike (yay, let's invent words!) intro) to enlighten your life.

And a bonus :B

ps: Keep an eye on NylonMagazineTV's YouTube channel, they interview several of Pukkelpop's acts that I really like, or just bands I really like overall.

Good night kids! (I'll try to sleep now)
xxx

Future Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans.

Ah, Summer. *Sigh*

It came like the breeze and put our minds at ease. But we already knew that,
"Summer is coming and I hope I feel better by the time it does,
Then I could leave my room my cocoon find the door and walk out to the sun.
Feel like I’ve moved on, lessons learnt my mind is feeling calm and so reassured
Yeah things are on the up, I’m on top of the situation I’ve endured " dixit Miss Hatherley.

Well, now we need plans - what to do? That is the big question - so here's the answer, for me anyway.

Music surge: Lotttttttts and lots of new stuff to listen to or buy or order, or pre-order.
#1: Humbug by Arctic Monkeys - I feel like saying "Never judge an album by its title", which would make sense because I'd never have bought any AM album otherwise. But fact is I've been waiting for this for two years, so we'll have to restart the process, namely;
Rush to FNAC asap, go to the Music department, grab the album (which entails pupil dilation, heart rate speeding and all that), paying, running down the escalators off to the metro, rushing home, locking my door, closing my curtains, lying on my bed, closing my eyes, and opening my ears (and chakras) and sheding a tear by the last track. Then restarting the process a good 2/3 times before liking it. Anyway, Fire and the Thud appears to be on the tracklisting which was surprising as I've had it for a year or so (acoustic version): Fire and the Thud

#2: Manners by Passion Pit (am looking forward to hearing that one)

#3: Grace/Wastelands by Peter Doherty (should be interesting)

Other than that I don't know really, can't remember my memory is letting me down these days.

As for the rest, I will and shall hate anyone going to Dour during the whole 4 days, but I should be attending Pukkelpop anyway (i.e.: Arctic Monkeys, Passion Pit, Simian Mobile Disco, Kraftwerk, La Roux, Maxïmo Park, Vampire Weekend, Dizzee Rascal, Klaxons (!!!), Kap Bambino, The Maccabees, The Virgins, Dananananaykroyd, Black Lips, Blood Red Shoes, MSTRKRFT, Bombay Bicycle Club, etc...)

So yeah, that's as bright as life gets for me these days. Music. I live off music. A bit like a hobo lives off [G]garbage, though I know many of you wouldn't mind living off Shirley Manson ^^
But yeah. That's it for now...

Merry Summermas my children!

...Suite [CHAPTER II?]

"Hi. I...I'm sorry I have to go, I shouldn't be here." she said. But blood was dripping from her chin where her guitar had just hit her, and the boy noticed.
"Are you sure? If I were you I'd get something done about my chin first"
Before she had the time to understand she saw a droplet of blood on her pristine guitar.
"Come here, I live just across the park, I have a first aid kit I'll help you out, I owe you that after all!" she hesitated but could start feeling the blood covering her chin now.
"Wait here, I'll be right back" he said and went to see his friends and took something.
When he came back, Jamie had a green bag across his chest and a grin on his face.
"I live just there, in the white house" he said, and they walked in silence with her holding her tissue on her chin still painful.
He brought his bag to the front to look for his keys and opened the door.

As she entered the house, there was a warm welcoming familiar smell of cake and family portraits scattered on the four walls. She paid attention to one in particular in which she thought she could recognise a picture of Jamie when he was younger. His parents, she thought, looked young and cheerful and his sister looked just like him - possibly she was his twin. As she was observing everything closely she didn't hear Jamie coming downstairs but apparently he had been looking at her too, her and her dark curly hair and pink cheekbones. Her, and her slight chubbiness but also her undeniable charm, nevertheless - and he liked that.

"Hey, erm..." he was about to say her name when he realized he didn't know it. "Wait. What's your name? I've brought you the first aid kit, there's tape and all in it, and I got my lifeguard license last summer, so don't worry, I can fix this!" She was puzzled by this whole situation, she wasn't meant to be there. But she figured out from his endeavour that he was a caring person, and also from his lifeguard experience he was probably quite muscled... But as she was thinking that she felt the weigh of his eyes on her and felt that she had to say something.
"Oh, right, thank you" she said, as he got close to her to put the band aid on, he was close enough for her to feel his warm breath on her mouth and his smell. "Lynx Africa", she thought.
When he put the disinfectant on her chin it hurt and she uttered a small "Owwwch", which made him feel uncomfortable. "I'm so sorry!" he said and he got up brutally, knocking his head against a lamp behind him as he also uttered his pain. They were both standing there looking quite silly though in pain as his mobile rang. He picked it up and had a quick chat "...Sure, what time?" "...Great! Alright then, I miss you too, see you" "...Yes, me too"

Who was it? she wondered and assumed it was his girlfriend; fair enough after all. When he finished his phone call he came back close to her, put a bit more disinfectant but it didn't hurt her this time, then he put a small round band aid on her chin and said "Voilà!" with an almost perfect accent. "Thank you", she said then after the pause she said "I'm Rebecca" to which he answered
"Well, it's definitely nice to meet you Rebecca, I'm sorry about the unfortunate circumstances though, but yeah, this is where I live! My name's Jamie Smith, I'm 18 and not quite sure what I want to do in life" he smiled and she felt compelled to answer "Well. I'm Rebecca Tate*, 17 and I want to be someone good"

For a moment he looked confused and looked as if about to ask something very meaningful but just asked her "Would you fancy a drink, Rebecca?" "Sure" she said "That'd be really nice" she answered "Okay, do you want something cold or hot? Actually, it's near 4 - tea time, so I propose some cinnamon tea and some cupcakes... if you want? I think we've got a few cupcakes left" Her jaws must have dropped because as she answered "Erm, it's really nice but I don't really do tea time..." he burst out laughing and simply said "Okay, let's go have a drink somewhere so you can tell me more about yourself then" she couldn't refuse. As he went up to get his jacket she took her mobile phone out and sent the words "I found him", and as he came back with his army jacket she just smiled at him and they left the house whilst talking about sunshine and lollipops. On their way she received a text saying "You weren't meant to go there" and told herself "Too late"


* Hahahaha - well what, how am I meant to entertain myself on a Sunday night, huh?

"Write me a story, I want to read a love story" she said

She wasn't meant to be there.
She had just decided to go for a walk to get away from all the bad vibrations around her.
She took her guitar with her, with no strap and just went for a walk.

She strolled the streets of her neighbourhood and just found herself in her favourite place on earth.

In the park, she found an empty bench, in a world, she thought, that was empty too; unlike her head who was full of thoughts and melancholy.

She was reminiscing her life as a little girl when she spent her Sunday afternoons watching cartoons whilst eating grapes, dressing up or going to pool parties with her friends or playing hide and seek.

But now, she didn't do any of those things any more.
Her weekends consisted of going out to places where she didn't even want to go with people she didn't even care about.
Now her life was bleak and incomplete.

She was singing what was on her heart when a football ball steadily came in her direction and landed a few centimetres next to her though it should have landed on her head, but in the process of avoiding the ball, she knocked her head against her guitar.

Then, as she looked up, angry and ready to shout at the person who had interrupted her meditation, she saw a tall young man with dark hair standing in front of her. He spoke first.

"I'm so so sorry!" he said, and she was about to answer but was too baffled to utter a word and all that came out was "Erm...".
But the boy didn't look like he was about to give up and he continued.
"I'm sorry, I told my friends to be careful, I didn't even want to play ! I mean, I heard someone singing and then I saw you so I told them, 'Hey guys, be careful', but they didn't listen and then they...- Sorry. I'm Jamie, nice to meet you, what's your name?"

And finally she felt confident and managed to answer:
"Hi. I'm...

[Story to be continued when I have more time and if there's any demand :P]

Vids vids vids. Reload your batteries.

"You're the architect of my dreams, Spencer. You plan them and fill them on blue paper and hand them to me. And then I dream them Spencer, that's what you do to me, thank you for that, Spencer. You prick."


Righto.
It's time for a video. Or two. Or a few.
It's football time tonight but it doesn't feel right.
What I feel like doing is a bit of the erm... old summary of my favourite videos and all, if you get me?

First of all, this video, I remember it from being a kid. I've been rediscovering it lately and think it's probably what caused my fascination for evolution.

You should all know it, it's Fatboy Slim's "Right here, right now" and it's rather fucking fantabulous.



Then, something that quite much... challenges biology, here for those of you who are into trippy videos and funky music, this my friends, is for you:



The following videos are from my favourite YouTube director, namely; Neil Cicierega
If you're on acid or any other substance I suggest you don't watch this video, your head might end up exploding in some way. Booh, beware. Well actually, no, whatever: do watch it.


But to get the gist of it (if that's humanly possible...) do watch the video it was taken from. All I can say is that song has been stuck in my head for a few days, and I happen to listen to it and tell myself "You think you can mock me Spencer, do you? You think you can capture my essence and throw it back at me with humour and rhethorical devices?" or even things like "You sexy little rattlesnake, you naughty little baby boy." or "There's plenty of applesauce on your plate", etc. But yes, to not think I'm insane and understand what I'm on about do watch this too; creepy and hilarious. And please do tell me if I'm deaf for sometimes hearing "Spenter"?
"I'M CUTTING INTEREST RATES IN HALF, SPENCER, AND I NEED YOUR TEETH!"



And, another from Neil, the genious which is rather hilarious and you've probably seen is this: Word Disassociation. Favourite part is the bridge... best lyrics ever. (highlight being: "Prance omelette stalking chimnee- sweep, eleven hatred earmuff okay, ratrskeller my elusive hula yellow sketching creamy helium gentemanly communiqué!")


Anyway, to move away from Neil for a bit I'll have to be fair and include a video of my own doing, which I personally find rather... interesting.


It is very much inspired by the following, which in my opinion is unbeatable;




Moving on, and doing another flashback, this video should bring back memories for a few of us...


And if like me, you are missing them Arctic Monkeys boys I suggest you watch this too:


And... to end this endless article I seem to have been writing for 4 hours now, I'll post this marvellous video and wish you all luck with your school/college/uni year and exams. To be watched FULLY. Highly worth it.




(ps: extra; if bored and up for a bit of... laughter, well this is feryu.)

First steps.

First time I use this thing. I've tried most cyber diaries already.
Skyrock, Facebook, MySpace, and several others I won't name.
They're all nice but I thought I'd give this a try as well - to be fair.

So ahoy! Welcome dearest darlings dearie dears.


Love and affection,
Marjaan x